


Later than you think

by tinyarmedtrex



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: (only in chap 1), AU, Adam gets some bad news, Angst with a Happy Ending, Last Holiday AU, M/M, POV Adam Parrish, a very loose au, and makes some big changes, eating a live animal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:33:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26663728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyarmedtrex/pseuds/tinyarmedtrex
Summary: When Adam finds out he only has a few months to live he realizes that he’d spent his whole life playing it safe, saving for a future he no longer had.With a new outlook on life he decides to leave everything behind and take a dream vacation. While there he meets a host of interesting people and learns more about himself than he ever expected.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 34
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

Adam rubbed his eyes, looking down at the car engine that he’d been working on for the last forty minutes. Just one more hour and then he could go home-- at least for a few hours, until his night shift started at 9pm. Still. He’d be able to sleep between the two. Something he desperately needed. He’d been feeling tired lately, run down. His coworkers all told him that he needed time off, maybe to go sit on a beach, but it felt like more than that. It felt like something was wrong. 

That was why he’d gone to the doctor’s office last week and asked them to run a series of tests. He hadn’t seemed concerned-- Adam was still young, in good health, didn’t smoke- but he’d agreed, testing Adam for a variety of things and promising to get back to him as soon as he had the results. Until then Adam was back at work, trying to puzzle through why this damn engine wouldn’t start. 

His shift ended before he figured it out. Sighing, he went to wash up. The engine would be there tomorrow. Adam could worry about it then. 

Adam went back to his small one-bedroom apartment. He hated thinking of it as home. It wasn’t, not really. It was just a place where he slept and occasionally watched a movie. That was it. He worked too much to really care about the place; he’d never decorated itm never hung photos or posters. It held his things but it didn’t hold memories; it didn’t make him feel at ease. In his mind it was a temporary stopping point, even though he’d lived there for three years. 

He had just finished his shower when his phone rang. 

“Hello?” He answered as he pulled on a worn pair of boxers.

“Mr. Parrish? It’s Doctor Hernandez. I have your test results.” 

Something in the doctor’s tone pulled at Adam, worried him. The next sentence solidified that concern. 

“Are you sitting down? I’m afraid I have bad news.” 

“Sure.” Adam went to his bed, sitting on the edge and picking at a loose thread. His heart was already racing, trying to anticipate what the doctor was going to say next. 

“You have a rare brain condition called Lampington’s disease, and unfortunately it’s quite advanced. It causes tumors to grow on your brain and they push against your skull. It’s what’s causing your fatigue. It’s-- fatal Mr. Parrish. I’m so sorry to tell you.” 

The doctor paused, and Adam felt like he had to say something but nothing came to mind. How were you supposed to respond when someone delivered your death sentence? 

“Oh.” 

“Yes.” The doctor coughed. “It’s rare at your stage to only have fatigue but I ran the test twice to be sure and it came back the same. I don’t want to alarm you but you will likely have more symptoms soon, things like headaches, muscle fatigue, forgetting basic tasks--”

“How long?” He asked. “Until things get bad?” 

“Probably about two months, maybe less. At first it’ll be numbness in your arms and legs and soon you’ll lose control of them. You’ll become a vegetable. I’m so sorry Mr. Parrish.”

“Call me Adam.” He said. He hated being called Mr. Parrish, it reminded him of his dad. His dad who had been an alcoholic but had lived to see his 60th birthday. Adam wouldn’t even celebrate 35. He tried to swallow the lump that rose in his throat. 

“There’s an operation but it’s quite expensive and insurance rarely covers it.” Doctor Hernandez continued. “It would give you another few months.”

“Wait--” Adam struggled to find his voice. “How long do I have without the operation?”

He was quiet for a moment. When he spoke it was soft, like he was trying not to startle Adam. “I’d say four to six months, max. Like I said, it’s an aggressive disease.” 

Doctor Hernandez kept talking, explaining the treatment options and new trials that Adam could join, but he tuned out. Everything only gave him a little more time. There was no cure for this, nothing to give him more than a few more months. 

He fell back on his bed, tears stinging his eyes as the realization settled in that he wasn’t going to see his next birthday. Thoughts rolled around in his head, none of them encouraging. He was young, barely 30, and he’d never lived. He’d put his life on hold, deciding that he could put off new clothes or vacations because it was more important to work. Hell, he hadn’t even seen his friends in the last few months. They would invite him out but he would always have to work. He picked up every shift he could, scrimping and saving for a future that he no longer had. 

A weight settled in his gut. He’d wasted his life. He’d put off everything, and now all he had was a death sentence and money in the bank. 

“Adam? Would you like me to email you the information for the trials? If we hurry we can get you signed up.”

“No.” He shook his head. He didn’t want to spend his last few months in the hospital, testing a cure that he’d never experience. “No thank you.”

The doctor hesitated then said. “I’ll give you some time. Please reach out if you change your mind or if you think of any questions. I can recommend a fantastic therapist who has helped others who received similar news.” 

“I will. Thank you.” The words slipped out. Adam was thanking the man for delivering the worst news of his life. Still, it wasn’t the doctor’s fault. It would have been easier if it was, if Adam had someone to blame, but that wasn’t the case. 

Once they hung up Adam grabbed his laptop, hauling the beast onto his bed and googling the disease. It was as bad as the doctor said; there were fewer than 5000 cases ever documented and no cure. He clicked through pictures, seeing people on feeding tubes, people who couldn’t even lift their heads. That would be him soon, reliant on nurses for everything, unable to even wipe his own ass. 

That night he called in sick to work for the first time ever. He also ordered a large pizza and drank three beers. The stupid extravagance of it made him laugh. This was how he was going to spend his final months, alone in his shitty apartment with crappy beer. 

As the realization sank in he felt tears on his cheeks. This wasn’t how he had imagined his life. It wasn’t that he was unhappy; it was more that he was waiting. He was waiting to have enough money, to be secure. He’d always promised himself that he would start to live once he had that. He’d put his life on hold for the future. Only now there wasn’t a future for him to wait for. 

“Fuck.” Adam muttered, rubbing his hands over his face. He stared at the symptoms, looking at what his life would become in a few months. As he did he noticed an ad on the side of the webpage. 

It read  _ ‘Visit beautiful Costa Rica! _ ’ with a picture of white sand beaches and someone lounging with a drink. He stared at the ad, mostly because he needed to look away from all the terrible medical words for a few minutes. 

Adam had never been to Costa Rica. He’d never been anywhere. The furthest he’d been from home was Florida for a family reunion, and he’d barely left the hotel room after one of his cousins threatened to beat him up. He had a passport though, ready and waiting for the day he decided to take a trip. Adam had always been a planner, even if he wasn’t a do-er. 

He clicked on the ad. 

An hour later Adam had decided that Costa Rica wasn’t for him. He didn’t want to spend his last few weeks sitting; he wanted to spend them doing something, making memories. He expanded his search, looking at the top travel destinations. 

Eventually one location drew his attention, the Swiss Alps. Years ago he’d been working on a customer’s Mercedes and had heard them talking about a resort there, about how he’d gone for a week and it was the most gorgeous place he’d ever been. The customer went on and on about it, bragging to the poor front desk clerk about a vacation she could never take. The conversation had stuck in Adam’s head, a sort of magical vacation that he could take when he was rich enough. 

At that moment Adam decided he had to go there. Within the next hour he’d booked a first class flight for the next morning, deciding to do it before he could change his mind. He had a lot of money in his savings-- a rainy day fund, a future vacation fund, a new car fund. All of that was useless now. Adam didn’t want the money to go to his parents, so he had no qualms about spending every cent. 

Rather than sleeping he spent the rest of the night getting ready-- packing, researching and calling into work and telling them someone in his family was sick. He wasn’t ready to tell them the truth, he didn’t want their pity. For the first time in a long time, Adam was going to be selfish and take care of himself first. 

Many hours and several glasses of wine later, he was finally at the resort. The flight had been long and he’d slept through most of it, only waking up for meals and to have his drink topped off. Then he’d taken a private car from the airport, enjoying the view and refusing to worry about the cost. The driver had happily filled him in on all of the sights and things to do. Most were ones he would never normally consider, but given his current circumstance he found himself leaning in and asking questions, asking about the details of base jumping and wine tasting. 

The driver offered to carry in his bags and let Adam walk inside unburdened. He was grateful he’d accepted, because he would have dropped whatever he was holding when he saw the inside. The entry was huge, tall ceilings and columns lined the hall. The monthly floor wax bill probably cost as much as his rent. He passed several other patrons, all of whom were wearing pressed shirts and expensive watches. He stuck out like a sore thumb in his worn jeans and second hand jacket. 

Trying not to gape too much, he made his way to the front desk, where an attentive-looking woman was sitting. 

“Hello and welcome to Hotel Du Monde, can I have your name?” She had a slight accent, beautiful and different than any he’d ever heard. Adam was suddenly very aware of his own, one he tried to hide as much as he could. 

“Adam Parrish.” He said slowly. 

She typed and her smile faltered. “I don’t see you in the system. Can you spell it for me?”

“I don’t,” He coughed, resisting the urge to turn and run back to the car. He belonged there as much as anyone else. “I don’t have a reservation, I wanted to book a room now.” 

She hummed and typed more. “I’m so sorry Mr. Parrish but there’s a conference going on and all the rooms are booked. We only have the embassy suite available.”

“I’ll take it.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Sir, it’s 3000 USD a night.”

The price made him reel. His brain immediately started to calculate how long he would have to work to make that much money. 

No, he reminded himself firmly. It didn’t matter. He didn’t need to save or scrimp. He wanted to stay here. “I’ll take it.” He repeated. 

She looked like she wanted to ask more, but her likely extensive training stopped her. Instead she nodded, typing again. “For how many nights?”

“Seven.” He needed to go back home eventually. 

“Very good.”

He handed her his rarely-used credit card and took a room key in return. “We’ll bring your bags up to your room. If you need anything, please feel free to ask.” Her smile seemed genuine, so Adam decided to take her up on that offer. 

“I do, actually.” He dropped his voice, hoping he could trust her. “My clothes they aren’t--” He coughed, praying he wasn’t too red. “I’d like to buy new ones.” 

She nodded, her eyes glancing over his outfit. “We’d be happy to help with that. If you give me your sizes, I can have some options sent up for you, free of charge. Then you may try the items on and purchase what you like. ”

He must have looked skeptical because she added, “A benefit for those staying in our suites. We also offer dry cleaning and shoe shine.” 

He gave her a small smile and listed his sizes. “Thank you.” 

“My pleasure, Mr. Parrish. If there’s anything else, you can call us at any time. We’re happy to schedule services and excursions for you.”

He nodded, walking to the elevator and pressing the button for the suites. They were on their own floor, and again Adam found himself gaping at the finery of the space. Even the hallways were flawlessly decorated. 

His room was stunning. Nearly the same size as his apartment-- he had his own small bar, a balcony and a soaker tub with jets. He wondered around, touching everything and opening every drawer and closet. His luggage had already been sent up, the worn bags looking out of place next to the finery. 

Once he’d seen everything else he collapsed onto the bed, nearly moaning as he sank into the mattress. Back home he had the cheapest one he could find, and it laid on a frame from Goodwill. This felt like lying in clouds. 

Adam didn’t even realize that he had fallen asleep until there was a knock on his door. 

“Mr. Parrish? I have the clothes you requested.” 

He rubbed his eyes as he went to the door, trying not to look like he’d just woken up. “Thank you,” he said, moving aside to let the man wheel in a rack of clothes.

“Of course, sir. Please leave anything you don’t want outside your door. Your room will be charged for what you decide to keep. And if you need a tailor for anything, please let the front desk know.” 

He nodded, closing the door and staring at the clothes, all new, with tags still attached. He couldn’t remember the last time he had purchased something brand new. With some hesitation he picked up one of the tags, flipping it over to see the price, then chuckling. 

“So fancy they don’t even list it.” He looked at the rack and shook his head. Something about not knowing the price was freeing; he couldn’t think about how many months of electricity a shirt could cover. Instead, he stripped down and picked up the first outfit, a chunky gray sweater with corduroys. 

Thirty minutes later he had a new wardrobe, complete with dark wash jeans and far more vests than he would ever need. He even kept one of the fob pocket watches. It was completely unnecessary and he loved it. He also kept a suit. He probably wouldn’t need it, but he’d never owned one that fit. 

Pushing the rack outside, Adam decided it was time for dinner. He changed into one of his new outfits-- a dark green vest with a blue shirt and gray pants-- and went down to the restaurant. This time he did let himself stop and stare. The dining area was enormous, with many tables sets and chandeliers decorating the vaulted ceiling. 

As Adam entered, he realized that he would be dining alone. He was used to it, but usually it was in his own apartment, sprawled out on the couch, not in public with people whose income was easily ten times his own. Briefly, he considered eating in his room. It wouldn’t be bad; there was a table up there, and he could look up things to do. 

But Adam found himself walking to the check in table. He refused to back down, even if no one else cared. He was going to eat dinner here. 

“Welcome to Manger. How many in your party?” The host asked as he approached.

“Just me,” he said. The man’s eyebrows quirked up but otherwise he didn’t reply, simply leading Adam to a small table and handing him a menu. Looking at it, Adam barely knew any of the foods, and he was even more hopeless with the wine. The fanciest thing he’d ever ordered was a steak on his birthday. He watched the food float past--all of it looked amazing, even if he didn’t know what it was. 

“And what can i get you this evening?” his waitress asked, appearing at his side. 

Sucking in his cheeks, Adam pointed to the last page. “This. Please. With the pairings.” It was a prix fixe dinner. Five courses. Ridiculously expensive. There was really no other option. 

“Very good sir! Will you need any substitutions?” 

He shook his head. He didn’t know what most dishes were anyway, no need to change it. 

“Excellent. I’ll return with your wine and first dish.”

With the waitress gone Adam leaned back, looking around at the other patrons. He was playing the game ‘who actually earned their wealth’ when someone appeared at his table. Adam turned, realizing that the man was mid-sentence.

“And so I was like ‘let’s just invite him over!’ and Ronan mumbled something like ‘fuck no’ and Declan was too busy flirting about art so I came over!”

“You-- what?” Adam frowned, trying to figure out what the man was saying. He had been speaking into Adam’s deaf ear, so he’d missed nearly everything. He was about to apologize when the man grinned at him, clearly not concerned. 

“I was asking if you wanted to sit with us!” He pointed to a table which held four other people. One man who looked like a model for Banana Republic in his flawless suit and matching pocket square. He was flirting with a woman who was trying to look bored, but her body language suggested otherwise. On the man’s other side was someone who looked very out of place, not because of his clothes but because of the scowl, how he held himself. They were all wearing expensive suits, even if the one brother didn’t have his jacket on. The table was rounded out with two empty chairs. 

“I don’t--” Adam started, turning to look at the man in front of him, who looked like the embodiment of a golden retriever puppy. Big eyes, fluffy hair and an excitement and joy that seemed to be barely contained.

“I’m Matthew,” he added, sticking his hand out. “Those are my brothers, Ronan and Declan. We’re here for the week. I saw that you were sitting alone. You looked bored. I’d be bored if I was alone.” Adam glanced at the table again, seeing the similarities in the three brothers. They didn’t look alike, but there was something in their expressions, how they held themselves, that made it clear they were related. 

“Adam,” He said, holding back his accent as best he could as he shook the man’s hand. 

“The woman is Jordan; she’s here for the conference too.” Matthew added, pointing to the woman. Adam looked again and noticed that one of the brothers-- Ronan-- was staring at him. He quickly looked away when Adam caught his eye. 

“So, you wanna come?” 

Adam looked up at Matthew, already feeling bad for saying no to this nice person. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m not--” He paused. What? He wasn’t like them? Wasn’t rich? Wasn’t worthy? This whole trip was about trying things he never had before. 

So he reversed course, swallowing his fear and nodding. “Matthew, I’d love to.” 

Matthew lit up, looking like a kid on Christmas. “Great! Come on-- I’ll tell the waiter you’re with us!”

Adam nodded, following him to the table. There was a quick round of introductions and then Adam fell into his seat, between Matthew and Jordan.

“So,” Declan turned to look at him, sipping what looked like an expensive scotch. “Are you here for the convention?”

“No,” Adam replied shortly. He knew what it looked like when someone sized him up, and he could feel Declan doing it, trying to figure out if he was worth talking to. 

Declan opened his mouth to ask another question, but the other brother spoke first. 

“Lucky.” Ronan said, straightening in his chair. “Declan dragged us here for some family time but so far he’s been too busy.” Ronan shot a look right at Jordan. She laughed, and Declan’s ears turned red. 

“I told you Ronan, we need to--”

“Mr. Parrish, your first course,” the waiter said, placing some complicated looking dish and a wine in front of Adam.

“Thank you,” he said, staring at the food and realizing he had no idea how to eat it. That would have been fine on his own, but now he was at a table with four other people, all of whom were watching him. 

“Did you get the fixed prix?” Ronan asked, his voice awed. 

Adam nodded. “I wanted to try it.” He swallowed his hand moving over all the spoons and forks. He didn’t even notice that Ronan had stood. 

“Move,” he whispered, pushing Matthew. The younger brother just grinned and scooted over to Ronan’s seat.

“Here,” he said, handing Adam a small fork. “It’s octopus with a balsamic dressing.” 

Adam eyed Ronan, their hands brushing as he took the fork. “Thanks,” he replied quietly, stabbing the food. As he did, it made a noise and he jumped.

“It’s still alive,” Ronan added. Adam looked over to see him grinning. 

“Thanks for the warning.”

“No problem.” Ronan seemed to realize how close he was and leaned back, looking at Adam’s plate enviously. “I wanted to get that, but Declan insisted we were on a budget. It’s legendary though; the chef has three Michelin stars.”

“I’ll share,” Adam offered, surprising them both. “It’ll be too much food for just me. You’ve got to tell me what everything is though.”

Ronan looked at him, considering the offer. Then he nodded. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Parrish.”

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Excellent!” Matthew said, arm pumping in the air. “You’ll love skiing, it’s like flying.” 
> 
> Declan nodded his approval. “Good, they’ll meet you here tomorrow morning, 9am.” With that he left, Matthew on his heels. Adam could hear them chatting as they left the space. 
> 
> “I still don’t know how.” Adam muttered, wiping his hands on his pants. 
> 
> “I’ll teach you.” Ronan replied, butting his shoulder against Adam’s. “It’s not that hard.” 
> 
> Adam looked over at him, letting himself really take in Ronan’s features. The man was handsome, especially when he smiled. Something in Adam stirred, a feeling that Adam rarely let himself have. He liked Ronan, his sharp wit that matched his sharp expressions. In any other world they would have never crossed paths but he was glad they had, even if it was only for a short time. 
> 
> “Promise?” He asked, nudging Ronan back. 
> 
> “I’ll be there with bells on.” 

“So about tomorrow?” Ronan asked as Adam stood. 

“You gotta come!” Matthew added, his eyes pleading with Adam. 

Adam shook his head as he stood, resisting the urge to rub his stomach. He was full, almost uncomfortably so. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like that. 

“I don’t want to intrude.” He said it carefully, his eyes flicking over to Declan to watch his reaction. He was the hardest to read, even after hours together at dinner. Matthew was excited to have a new person, Ronan seemed to enjoy riling Adam up, but Declan was quiet. He watched Adam with clear interest but didn’t say much. Jordan had disappeared half way through the dinner, Declan following her then reappearing a few minutes later to whoops and teasing from his brothers. They were an odd trio but Adam could feel the love between them, how close they were despite their differences. 

“You’re not.” Ronan said, his eyes also falling on his oldest brother. “Declan is ditching us so we have an extra pair of skis.” 

“I’ve never gone before.” 

Finally Declan spoke, standing up and putting his hand on Adam’s shoulder, leaning closer like he was speaking a secret. “You should go. It’s an exhilarating experience. And I don’t want the ticket to go to waste.” 

Adam considered his words. At first he had thought that Declan was upset that Adam was at their table but after some time he seemed to relax, especially as Ronan moved closer and explained the meal. Adam had felt Declan’s watching them, the protective older brother keeping an eye on them. He’d questioned Adam more than the others, especially about where he worked, but Adam had been saved from answering by Matthew shouting that that was boring and instead asking who his favorite super hero was. And now Declan was practically insisting that Adam spend another day with the family. It was confusing. 

Then Adam glanced over to Ronan, seeing his barely masked hope. He knew that he should say no. He should go back to his room and spend the rest of his vacation on his own. Because what the best case scenario- That he makes friends with these people? That they get to know him and what to see him when they’re back in the US? Adam was dying. His life still had an expiration date. Whatever happened here, it wouldn’t change that. 

Maybe that was what made him nod in agreement. He had promised himself to try things, to not hide from new experiences. This fit the bill. He’d spend one more day with them. 

“Excellent!” Matthew said, arm pumping in the air. “You’ll love skiing, it’s like flying.” 

Declan nodded his approval. “Good, they’ll meet you here tomorrow morning, 9am.” With that he left, Matthew on his heels. Adam could hear them chatting as they left the space. 

“I still don’t know how.” Adam muttered, wiping his hands on his pants. 

“I’ll teach you.” Ronan replied, butting his shoulder against Adam’s. “It’s not that hard.” 

Adam looked over at him, letting himself really take in Ronan’s features. The man was handsome, especially when he smiled. Something in Adam stirred, a feeling that Adam rarely let himself have. He liked Ronan, his sharp wit that matched his sharp expressions. In any other world they would have never crossed paths but he was glad they had, even if it was only for a short time. 

“Promise?” He asked, nudging Ronan back. 

“I’ll be there with bells on.” 

Adam laughed. “You know what, I believe you.”

The following morning Adam was downstairs before the others. He hadn’t slept in in years and his body wasn’t about to let him start now. It helped that the bed he was on was far more comfortable than anything else he’d ever slept in. He’d fallen asleep the minute he was in his room, his head hitting the pillow before he even realized it. He’d woke up and ordered breakfast, something much heartier than he normally ate, and hung around in his room for as long as he could without feeling stir crazy. The view was amazing but the walls still made him feel trapped. He’d come here so he didn’t have to think about things, being alone up in his room made that much harder. 

So he had decided to wander around the lobby, taking a closer look at the art. He was admiring one piece when he felt someone slide behind him. “Gorgeous isn’t it? Beautiful brush strokes and such a serene scene.”

Adam turned to see someone he didn’t recognize. The man reeked of money, everything from his crocodile skin shoes to his Rolex, carefully positioned over his shirt so everyone could see it. 

“I like the other one more.” Adam replied, nodding towards the other piece of art, careful to keep his accent from bleeding out.

The man chuckled. “Each to their own I suppose.” He stuck out a hand. “I’d Tad, Tad Carruthers.”

“Adam Parrish.” He replied, accepting the handshake. Tad’s grip was slightly too firm, his way of letting you know who was in charge. 

“Parrish, Parrish.” Tad tapped his chin. “Are you part of the Toronto clan? The Oil Baron Parrish’s?” 

Adam shook his head. He didn’t like how Tad was looking at him, clearly sizing him up, trying to determine his worth via his wealth. Adam had met many men like him. Usually they didn’t spare someone like him a second glance. He wondered why the man was speaking to him. 

Tad hummed, thinking. Then he snapped his fingers. “The London Parrish’s then. They can play the stock market like a fiddle.”

“Not them either.”

“Then who are you?”

Adam let his eyes narrow slightly. “No one you’ve ever heard of.” He wanted to leave but he was sure Tad would follow. He was like a dog with a bone, unwilling to let Adam go until he’d gotten what he wanted. 

“Well that can’t be true. I saw you eating with the great Declan Lynch yesterday.” Tad continued, unaware of Adam’s internal monologue. “However did you manage that? I’ve been trying to get the man’s attention for weeks.”

Finally it made sense. Tad didn’t care about him. It was a relief, to know that his goal wasn’t to find Adam’s backstory. Tad wanted what all men like him wanted- a connection, a way to make even more money. Adam was more than happy to share this information. 

“His brother invited me.”

To his delight the smile dropped from Tad’s face. “They- what? That doesn’t make sense. Do they know you? Were you in the same fraternity in college?” 

Adam was spared from answering by his name being yelled across the lobby. 

“Parrish!” 

Looking over Tad’s shoulder he saw Ronan and Matthew both waving at him. Adam smiled. They were drawing looks from the other patrons. Ronan for his noise level and Matthew for his neon orange jumpsuit. 

“Get your ass over here!” Ronan added when Adam didn’t move. 

He glanced at Tad once more. “I’ve got to go old sport. Take care.” With that he left, refusing to let himself glance back to see if Tad was watching. He didn’t need to. He could feel Tad’s eyes burning a hole into his back. 

“You’re sure a popular guy.” Ronan said once he was closer, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Tad. 

Adam shrugged. He wasn’t sure why Tad wanted to speak with Declan so much but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be anything good. It was better to drop it. 

Ronan’s eyes swept over him. “You’re wearing that?”

He looked down. He was in an outfit he’d purchased yesterday. It was the warmest one he had, corduroy pants and a jacket that was probably more suited for fall. “Well I-”

“Come on, we’ll get you something warmer from the store.” Ronan said, throwing an arm around Adam’s shoulders. “You can’t ski if you’re a human popsicle.” 

“Maybe you can get something like this!” Matthew added, patting his jumpsuit. “Then we’d match.”

“And I could see you both from the moon.” Ronan said. 

Matthew beamed at him and Adam chuckled.

It wasn’t long until he’d completely forgotten about Tad. Between Matthew’s never ending stories and Ronan’s eye rolls the trip to the lodge went quickly. It was easy, Matthew talked constantly, filling Adam in about the ins and outs of skiing and the different hills. 

“Come on, let’s get you something warm.” Ronan said once they reached the rental shop. He started tearing things off the walls, throwing them to Adam. Adam’s arms were soon overloaded and Ronan turned back towards him, holding a knitted hat in his hands. He glanced at his full arms and instead placed it on Adam’s head, pushing the warm wool over his ears.

“Perfect.” Ronan said, his hands still on the hat. 

“I’ll be the warmest guy on the bunny slope.” Adam replied. The two stayed that way for a moment, neither speaking.

Then Matthew appeared, surprising them both and making Adam jump back. “They’re out of skis.” He said, frowning. 

“Oh darn.” Adam said, hoping his relief wasn’t too obvious. He was worried about looking like an idiot in front of everyone. This was a convenient excuse to avoid it.

“No problem.” Ronan said, pointing to a different wall. “We’ll get snowboards. They’re better anyway. Way cooler than lame ass skis.”

Adam shook his head. Having both of his feet strapped to one thing sounded even worse. “Ronan I-” 

“Don’t worry Parrish, I won’t let anything happen to your pretty little head.” Ronan said, rubbing his knuckles over the hat. The protest died on his lips and he allowed Ronan to lead him to the cash register. He tried to argue again when Ronan paid for all his equipment but Ronan waved him off, saying that Declan owed them for ditching them. 

Soon he was sitting in a ski lift next to Ronan. Matthew was in front of them, swinging his seat back and forth as they rose. For his part Adam was determinedly looking ahead and not at the ground that kept getting further and further away. Nerves were building in his stomach as he saw people careening down the hill out of the corner of his eye.

“What does Declan do?” He asked, turning to look at Ronan. It didn’t feel much safer, especially not when Ronan turned to him, eyebrow arched.

“Why? You after the family fortune?” 

“Nah, I wouldn’t have enough time to spend it.” Adam said. He winced inwardly. It was fine to make those jokes in his head but out loud- 

Luckily Ronan didn’t notice. “Declan works in finance. The stock market. Buying some things, selling others. It’s boring as fuck.”

“And what do you do? Besides spend the money Declan makes?”

Ronan laughed, the sound cutting through the cold air. “That’s Matthew’s job. I’m a chef.” Adam could feel how carefully Ronan watched his reaction, waiting to be judged. Adam had a sense that it wasn’t a job that Ronan was supposed to have, it wasn’t on whatever approved list wealthy people made up in their heads. 

But Adam didn’t care. What he cared about was hard work and perseverance, and you needed both to be a chef. So rather than asking Ronan where he worked or where he’d studied he asked something he actually cared about. 

“What’s your favorite thing to cook?”

Ronan smiled again and Adam could feel him relax slightly. “Grilled cheese.”

Now it was Adam’s turn to laugh. “Of all the meals in the world, that’s your favorite?” 

“Don’t underestimate a good grilled cheese Parrish. It can change your life.” 

The way Ronan said it made Adam believe him. “You’ll have to make me one of these life changing grilled cheeses.” 

“I’d love to.” 

Adam wanted to say more. Hell, he never wanted the conversation to end, but they were at the top of the hill. Both jumped off the lift, Ronan landing with considerably more grace than Adam. 

“Let’s teach you to snowboard.” Ronan said, leading him to the edge of a small slope as he started to explain the basics- how to stand, shifting your weight to turn. Adam wasn’t sure that teaching snowboarding required quite as much touching as Ronan seemed to do but he wasn’t going to complain. He liked how Ronan’s hands felt on his hips, warm even through their layers. Adam tried to take all of it in, remembering as many details as he could.

Of course, once Ronan snapped the board to his feet it all disappeared. 

“What if I just watched you?” Adam asked, watching as Ronan tightened his holds. Matthew had disappeared long ago, deciding to try a harder hill on his own. 

“What’s the fun in that?” Ronan asked, straightening and pulling off his gloves with his teeth. His fingers went under Adam’s chin, adjusting the strap. Adam held his breath as Ronan worked, worried about scaring him away. 

“You’ll be fine Parrish.” Ronan said, hopping back. “And if you aren’t, well, it was nice knowing you.” Adam scowled but Ronan only laughed. “Come on, I’ll buy you a hot cocoa at the bottom.” With that he turned, pushing himself down the hill. Adam barely had time to roll his eyes before Ronan was gaining speed, careening down the hill.

Adam swallowed, staring down the hill. He could hop back on the chair lift and head down. It was the easier option, safer.

Adam sighed. He was so tired of always being safe. 

He pushed himself down the hill. He started slow, wobbling as he tried to follow the paths others had made, but soon he was picking up speed. The pit in his stomach grew smaller and he let himself enjoy the sensation of wind against his face and the board under his feet. He’d never done anything like this, never given up control and let gravity guide him. It was exhilarating, even if he was being passed by children. His focus was on staying on the path and trying not to fall. He managed to do both until the bottom. 

He heard Ronan cheering for him and made the mistake of looking over. When he did he lost control of the board and fell backwards, his ass connecting with the cold snow. Ronan rushed over to offer a hand.

“You did it! How do you feel?” Ronan asked excitedly, pulling him back onto his feet. 

Adam brushed himself off, trying to decide himself. 

“We don’t have to go again.” Ronan said, mistaking his silence for unhappiness. 

“No.” Adam raised his head, looking Ronan in the eye. “I want to. I liked it.”

Ronan grinned. “Hell yea, I knew you would. Come on, let’s try a bigger hill.”

The two spent the next several hours snowboarding. Ronan gave Adam more tips- most of which seemed to involve the two of them slotting together as Ronan talked. Adam wasn’t going to complain. He was growing to love this- being outside, the rush of going down the hill, how it felt to be in Ronan’s arms. It made him feel more alive than he had in years. 

“You’re a natural.” Ronan said when they were back in the lodge, sliding a hot cocoa to Adam. Both of them were flushed from being outside, Ronan’s ears and cheeks were pink and Adam couldn’t stop stealing glances at him. 

“You’re a liar.”Adam replied, sipping the drink.

Ronan shook his head. “I never lie. You are. You became one with the board.”

“Maybe I just had a good teacher.” Adam looked at Ronan over his cocoa, noticing how happy he seemed with the compliment. “Thanks for making me come.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never gone before.”

Adam didn’t know how to explain that he’d never even considered it. The cost of renting a board, buying the clothes plus the thought of taking time off work, it would have been impossible. He couldn’t say that to Ronan though. Not without explaining everything, something he’d already decided against. He was here to enjoy this time, not to worry about what would happen when he left. 

“What are your other plans for the week?” 

Adam leaned back into his chair, recalling the list he’d made. “Skydiving, base jumping, spending a day at the casino, trying blowfish-”

“And skiing freaked you out?” Ronan shook his head. “I really don’t understand you Parrish.” 

Adam was used to that, to not being understood. People often confused his silence for boredom or judgment. But he knew that that wasn’t what Ronan meant. No part of him seemed to be judging Adam, he was genuinely trying to understand the man. It was refreshing. 

“If you want to try something really insane you should come with me tomorrow. I’m renting a roadster and finding some empty roads.” Ronan gave him that smile again. The one that made Adam feel like the two of them were in on some inside joke together. 

“I’ve never driven something that fast.” Adam replied, thinking about all of the roadsters he’d fixed, all the times he’d admired them. 

“Now’s your chance.” 

Adam stretched, considering. Spending one day with Ronan was okay but the more time they spent together the more this would feel like something. Adam wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. 

But damn did he want to drive that car. 

“I’ll think about it.” He promised, finishing his cocoa and standing up. 

“I’ll see you at dinner.” 

Adam smiled down at him. It had been a long time since someone had expected him for dinner. “Not if I see you first.”

Ronan laughed appreciatively. “Alright man, touché.”

Adam left, feeling warmer and happier than he had in a long time. Funny that it took a death sentence to finally make him enjoy his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna come talk about Adam feels with me on tumblr? [tinyarmedtrex](https://tinyarmedtrex.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (everyone please watch last holiday, its such an underrated movie!)


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